It’s 8:24 am Monday morning, and I’m supposed to be at work by
8:30 am. Why am I late? I can’t decide on what earrings to wear; isn’t that nuts!

I’m not a morning person to begin with, let alone Monday morning. Everyone in the office knows I’m not very “personable” before 10 o’clock. It’s not that I try to be surly, it’s just that I hate that god-awful small talk first thing Monday morning, when really I’d rather be left alone until I’ve read USA Today and Variety, checked my e-mails, and have had a sufficient caffeine injection to give me the artificial energy I need. Who wants to answer those same silly-ass questions every week, like “how was your weekend?”, “what did you do?”, “did you see a movie?” Does anyone care what those answers are at 8:30 am on Monday….?

Add to that, it’s summer time, and I’m not a summer person. Yes, that’s right…I’m not a summer person and proud of it!

You see, I HATE TO BE HOT. The AC has to run all the time; I feel like I’m a jar of shriveled-up olives that have been stuck in the coldest part of the fridge for 6 months.

It’s August and my house doesn’t have central air, just two window air-conditioners; one in the front room and one in the bedroom. The AC in the bedroom makes so much noise you can’t sleep with it on, because it sounds like you’re sleeping next to the turbo engine of an airplane; it annoys the hell out of me. I turn it on, get into bed, it makes too much noise. So I get up, turn it off, get back into bed, then wake up hot, in a pool of sweat like a gross, disgusting pig! So I get up AGAIN, turn it off AGAIN, and turn on the fan by our bed. Oh, and just so you know, the fan runs EVERY night, 365 days, winter and summer, it doesn’t matter; it’s on all the time, blowing directly on us. Mr. Ludy hates it, but he knows it’s better than the alternative, which is me bitching about how hot I am, and him sleeping on the sofa!

So Monday morning, the summer heat, not sleeping well because of the heat, you get the scenario…oh…. sorry, I was talking about earrings wasn’t I.

Ok, I once read an article in Allure that said how you should pick out your entire outfit from head to toe the night before, and how it’s such a time saver. But here’s my problem with that; how the hell do I know what I’ll feel like in the morning. Sometimes I’m grumpy when I wake up and feel like throwing on a pair of jeans and a simple white shirt (cute designer jeans and shirt of course, but all the same, it’s a simple outfit). Other times, I wake up feeling very glamorous and festive and nothing but a black boa and hairpiece will do.

Choosing the outfit the night before is out for me, unless I’m going to be in my office alone, and seeing no one (which rarely happens). If that’s the case, I’ll wear a pair of pressed Capri’s, flats, white button down shirt, silver hoops, and tie a colorful scarf in my hair; makeup of course, even if it’s minimal. FYI…I never leave the house without at least my “stick” on! After all, this is LA, and you never know who you’re going to meet; a prospective boss, future boyfriend, George Clooney (as I did one day in the elevator, and thank god, I had taken the time to have full hair and make-up that day; I would have died if when he smiled and said “hello” my lipstick hadn’t been perfect!)

You see, to me an outfit is won or lost by the “Accessory Factor”. The Accessory Factor is anything you use to make your outfit unique to you, i.e. giving it your personality. For instance, my hair is an accessory; my earrings are an accessory; shoes, lipstick, scarves…all accessories. That’s a lot to put together in the morning, and for me, it all depends on the mood I wake up in (or how far I’ve pushed sleeping ‘til the last minute).

Oh, but back to our original programming; my earrings…

So I’m sitting at my dressing table and of course, I’m hot. I don’t want to wake Mr. Ludy up, so I haven’t turned the AC on; just the fan is on, which at this point, is useless. I’m running late, and I’ve already tried on at least 8 pairs of earrings. The first pair are standard sterling thin hoops; nice and go with everything, but I think, “boring, what else have ya got”. The next pair are Tiffany signature sterling hoops that look like 3 small hoops in one, and hang close to the ear. I look at those and think “they stick out too much and make my ears look big”. Okay, how about something dangly, like a pair of chandeliers. I put on my silver and blue chandeliers, look for a moment, and think, “too Cleopatra”. I try on gold hoops; too gold; black buttons, too 80’s; pearls, too matronly; Tiffany posts, not big enough and looked like big silver bowling balls on my ears.

I look at the clock, it’s now 8:33 and I’m thinking, “I’ve still got to find a pair of shoes”! Finally, after looking at all of them again, I say screw it, and go back to the thin sterling hoops, my very first pair; of course.

I’m telling you…If someone asks me “How was your weekend?” I just might tell them!
The Ludy-ism: Never, ever leave the house without your lipstick aka, your “stick” on. You never know who you will run into that day!