So I’m driving to the office today, happy, carefree, singing The Cure’s “Just Like Heaven”, relaxed in the thought that I am getting there early, the sky’s blue, and I’m going to see “40 Year Old Virgin” at the ArcLight in Hollywood tonight with Mr. Ludy.

The ArcLight, it is THE best place in LA to see movies for 2 reasons; 1) they make their own caramel corn on site, which I get EVERY time even if I’m NOT hungry, and 2) with tickets at $14 per person, it’s worth the extra 4 bucks a person not to have to watch Daisy Duke and Cooter “get after it” through the entire movie, or Frank and Marie asking each other “what did he say?”

Anyway, back to my story…

Suddenly, I’m brought back to reality by the thoughtless, selfish jackass cabbie in front of me. While stopped at the red light, I had the distinct pleasure of witnessing him drive away as the light changed, and nonchalantly toss his fast food wrapper out the window, and continue on as if he’d done nothing wrong or unusual.

Come on! I was so damn mad, I nearly drove off the road looking for pen and paper to take his driver’s license number and report him; but to whom? Who do you report this kind of behavior too? Would anyone care? Have we become so jaded that we think this is normal behavior, or is it just because I live in La La Land; a place where selfish, non-caring behavior is often mistaken for the norm?

My pleasure didn’t end there. A block later, I’m on Riverside crossing Lankershim and have the honor of watching a Pamela Anderson wanna-be, soccer-mom in her black Mercedes SUV, her kids beside her, toss a half eating burger out her window, while pulling out of the McDonalds.

A Mercedes SUV! Think about this. It’s my experience that anyone who can afford a Mercedes, must possess at least an ounce of social and moral conscience, and surely has been taught that this is not acceptable behavior. And what the hell is she teaching her children? That it’s okay to act like a selfish pig, and pass on to them the “it’s all about me” attitude she possesses? If children are taught that tossing an uneaten burger out the window is not only okay, but necessary “because I don’t want the Mercedes to smell like a burger joint”, where will society be in 20 or 30 years?
Two different spectrums of society, the blue collar taxi driver and the affluent Mercedes driver, and neither one of them appear to have any class, morals or values for anyone but themselves. Can they really think it’s okay to exist only for themselves, and not care about the bigger picture? What if, for example, I went to their neighborhoods and tossed my crab quiche from last night into their drive-ways. Would they care? Would they want to report me?

Now, more than ever, with the recent devastation of Hurricane Katrina, this kind of selfish behavior irritates the hell out of me! I’ve seen so many people come together and help those who have lost everything; giving to others when they barely have enough to care for themselves. I sat there, mouth wide open in amazement, wondering if Pamela Anderson wanna-be watched CNN at all the last 2 weeks, and knows of the devastation to the Gulf coast. Or is she so busy making sure her over-priced, over-indulgent Mercedes doesn’t smell like McDonald’s that she doesn’t care about anything else?

We’ve gone from watching Ward and June Cleaver teaching Beaver it’s not polite to talk with his mouth full, and telling Wally not to slouch at the dinner table, to watching a totally produced “real” family invite Super Nanny into their home for 2 weeks to teach their children that “you shouldn’t kick your daddy in the shin” or “we don’t call mommy a bitch. If you stop doing these things, there will be a big, shiny prize at the end of my visit.” A prize for not calling your mother a bitch? What the hell’s that? Trust me, if I had called my mother a bitch, I would have gone flying across the room, and the prize would be that I didn’t get my ass whipped.

THE LUDY-ISM: It’s absolutely unnecessary and unacceptable to toss a burger or a food wrapper out the window. If you want to trash someone’s neighborhood stay in your own please, as mine’s not available. Trust me, a proper garbage receptacle is just around the corner, and guess what, it’s not my neighborhood!