Dear Judy Ludy:

How do you handle it when you have a party and invite someone with a guest and they call back and ask to bring 4 people - or even 2 more people? How can you say no without hurting their feelings? And should I even be concerned about hurting their feelings?

Signed,
Exasperated in Encino

Dear Exasperated:
They would NEVER received another invitation from the Ludy’s! Calling your hostess and asking to bring a few friends along to the part is like saying, “hey, do you mind if I bring a few of MY friends with me to your party, because I’m pretty sure YOUR friends are lame, and there’ll be no one there I want to talk to. Is that a problem?” When someone invites you to a party it says they are proud to have your friendship and want to share you with others in their lives. Inviting “your posse” is not only inappropriate, but a slap in the face to your host or hostess.

Exasperated, don’t you dare think or worry about hurting their feelings! You simply answer by first asking, “is it a family member that’s come to town unexpectedly?” If that’s the case, that would be the only exception to my rule, and even then, the invited guest should decline your invitation and attend next time. If it’s local friends they want to bring, you say, “I’m sorry, but it’s an invitation only party, not an open house, and I’d prefer it we kept it to the guest list.” And leave it at that.

The Ludy-ism…If you want to remain a constant on the Ludy Lounge List, DO NOT call to ask if you can bring uninvited guests to the party.