Tabloid time! This week The Enquirer has Ted Kennedy’s Secret Love Child, a lovely shot of Star Jones’ stomach (which I really don’t need to see), and news that Bobby Brown is divorcing Whitney. Star has breaking news that pregnant Angelina collapsed; Britney has gained 20 pounds; and lots of Golden Globe fashion photos. Us Weekly is reporting how Jen found out about Brad and Angelina’s baby news; Jessica has a new man, and a photo of Britney not wearing her wedding ring (which proves nothing). Nothing earth shattering this week I know, but note worthy just the same.

First, The Enquirer…

Page 5 has several photos of Mariah Carey in her too tinni-bikini while she frolics about in the Caribbean. Mariah, please…put some clothes on.

Page 6 has a frantic Brad Pitt “begging” Angelina to slow down and stop doing so much. He thinks she may be putting herself and the baby in danger, due to her hectic charity schedule, and is worried sick about them. It’s all there to read, if you’re not bored by it already.

It’s going to be a long 9 months, folks.

Page 11 – If you recall last week, I reported on Whitney’s late night trip to a gas station in Atlanta at 4 am, dressed in her best pajama pants and fur coat; hairpiece askew. Apparently, this week’s reports are that Bobby Brown is ready to begin divorce proceedings because he can’t take her alleged cocaine abuse any more. Seems BRAVO is looking at doing a second season of his reality show, and he won’t be dependant on Whitney for money; thus the reason he can leave and move on. Stay tuned…

Page 17 – A photo of Star Jones in what looks to be a bikini top and sarong with a visible stomach scar. Do we really need to see this; I don’t. We already know her “medical intervention” had to be some form of by-pass surgery. There’s really no other way to loose that kind of weight that quickly…duh.

Page 28 – Paris Hilton looking a drunken mess…gee, what a surprise.

Page 30 – Ted Kennedy’s Love Child scandal. Go ahead and read it if you must. I can’t begin to think of getting close to him in that way – yuck! There’s nothing’s more attractive than a big beer belly and red drinker’s nose…yeah, right.

On to the Star, which is mostly Golden Globe fashion review this week.

Pages 2-6 Pics of which actress was wearing what, and how they looked; it’s worth a look if you didn’t catch the snooze-fest show.

Page 1 7 – In the, If-you-haven’t-gotten-your-fill-yet-of-Paris-Hilton-Department, this page has mother Kathy Hilton and Nicky Hilton partying it up on New Years Eve. What a nice family photo to have; mother and daughter yuckin’ it up in Vegas somewhere. Seems it’s the trend, as Lindsay Lohan and her mother, Dina, are on the page next…ugh.

Page 44 – Another story on how Brad wants Angelina to take it easy and get some rest after she apparently collapsed in the Dominican Republic filming THE GOOD SHEPHERD. He’s worried sick about her, and is begging her to stop for her sake and the baby’s.

Page 48 – The Brad, Angelina, Jennifer saga continues….. The headline screams, “A Humiliated Jen proposed to Vince!” all due to the fact that Brad and Angelina are having a baby, and she had to hear it from one of her reps. Come on! From everything I’ve read lately, and especially the interview Vanity Fair did on her, Jen’s much stronger that this. I’m not sure I believe this story…you read it and decide.

Page 52 – A photo of Jessica Simpson apparently so torn up over Nick, that on January 12th, she was spotted in a Ralph’s supermarket in Beverly Hills in the booze isle, trying to make up her mind on what bottle of booze to buy…get real. Enough already! There’s also an article on how horrendous her performance at The People’s Choice Awards was with her rousing rendition of “These Boots are made for Walkin’”. Didn’t see it, so I can’t comment.

Page 54 – A horrible photo of Britney, with supposedly 20 pounds of excess weight on her. I think it’s just a bad photo….take a look and decide. If Mr. Ludy treated me the way she’s being treated by “K-Fed”, I’d probably find comfort in food and booze too!

Britney, you’ve got the power…through him out on his ass!

Page 58 – It’s just a matter of time before we read Lindsay Lohan is back in the “hospital” for an “asthma” attack.

Lindsay, it’s called rehab, not “hospital”.

Page 96 – The worst dressed at the Golden Globes, and yes, Drew Barrymore gets my vote for #1, as well. I read where when she’s 50, she’d liked to be like mother earth. Guess what..with that dress and her look at the Globes…she’s well on her way!http://fashion.about.com/od/celebawardsshows/ig/Golden-Globes-06-Photo-Gallery/Drew-Barrymore.htm 

Us Weekly…

Page 42 - 56 – more Golden Globe fashion.

Page 58 – Yet, another tale of how Jen found out about Bradgelina’s pregnancy; I’m over it.

Page 78 – Apparently, Lindsay Lohan and Scarlett Johansson aren’t friends anymore (were they ever?) and things are getting ugly.

Page 82 – I don’t know what it is, but I have no interest in Jenna Elfman or her new show (I DO know what it is, but if I can’t say anything nice….)

That is all….