Tabloid Time!  The Enquirer’s cover story is plastic surgery shockers (Demi Moore, Jessica Simpson, Katie Couric), plus plastic surgery that has turned out freaks (Joan Rivers, Farrah Fawcett, Melanie Griffith)….boring; we’ve seen most of these photo’s before, no need to waste your time (or money)  on them again.  Star has the Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora divorce drama, and Britney Spears “risking” her baby’s life.  Us Weekly has Denise’s final straw with Charlie, and In Touch Weekly is really the only one talking of Brangelina this week…thank god! 

First the Enquirer… 

Page 4 – The photo we’ve seen all over the news this week…the infamous shot of Britney with her son, Sean, in her lap while driving her SUV.  Nice, Britney.  If she is pregnant again (Page 9) maybe next time around she’ll remember a car seat is a must even if the paparazzi are chasing you…yeah right; nice spin. 

Page 6 – Apparently, 2 more men have “come out of the closet” with ClayGate and are claiming to have had relationships with Mr. Aiken.  According to the Enquirer, he’s begging them for sex.  They have asked their names be withheld, but claim they met him through www.bigmuscle.com and that’s how the hook-ups occurred.  Come on…if you met him, own it!  State your names and tell the world!  If you’re telling everyone you’ve had Mr. Aiken, fess up and give your names; or is it really NOT true? 

Page 10  -  Vince Walks out on Jen…apparently the lovebirds are squabbling over her wanting a baby, and he’s not ready.   She’s decided she’ll parent alone if need be, and is researching single parenting.  

Page 28 – 31 – Four pages of plastic surgery crazies!  You know, before and after shots of celebrity plastic surgeries.  Page 32 has the circus of freaks, or as I put it, plastic surgery gone horribly wrong. 

Page 40 – Heather Locklear files for divorce from rocker husband Richie Sambora, allegedly due to their once personal assistant becoming all to familiar with their home, family and Mr. Sambora.  Heather got an eye-full of suggestive e-mails with photos she supposedly sent to Richie, and that’s all it took.   D.I.V.O.R.C.E – C.I.T.Y.  Thank god!  Now maybe Richie can focus on me! 

The Star… 

Page 6 – Same photo, different angle of the infamous Britney driving with Sean on her lap.  Enough already.  It’s the same photo from ANY angle! 

Page 44 – An in-depth view of the “other woman” in Richie’s life that allegedly broke up the marriage, and a small insert photo of the actual divorce papers Heather filed.  Is he nuts?  Heather is sooooo much better looking than the other woman.  Richie, how can you choose Midge over Barbie?  

Page 60 – Denise Richard’s is apparently so distraught over Charlie’s new hookers she’s suing for sole custody, and allegedly has gotten an AIDS test.  Come on; there’s no proof of that; only a photo of a wad of cotton, held in place by a bandage, in the crook of her elbow where we all get blood drawn.  It’s ridiculous to assume that’s from an AIDS test.  She could have scrapped it, bruised it, or gotten a blood test for anything; if in fact, it even is from blood being drawn!  It’s absurd to think (and speculate) that’s the only reason the bandage is there. 

Us Weekly….not much here to report; just different spins on the same old stories. 

Page 52 – Their cover story…how Charlie betrayed Denise, and she’s filing for sole custody of the kids.  And the ridiculous theory about the AIDS test. 

Page 56 – Three photos of 3 different women, and the caption, “Charlie’s Past Porn Connection” or as I like to say, “Charlie’s Past Porn Collection”. 

Page 58 – Britney and baby Sean in the SUV, and someone’s “conspiracy” theory that she and K-Fed have put their son in danger at other times as well.  Who knows and frankly….does anyone really care?   

And finally, In Touch…. 

Page 16 – Headline is Jen’s Gone Wild, apparently because she’s not getting up anymore at 7 am, and staying out partying, drinking and smoking.  Come on…if that’s wild, then Lindsay Lohan is Mother Theresa. 

Page 32 – 6 photo spread of Kirstie Alley before and after her weight loss.  She actually looks great now.  Soooooo much better than when she first started in September 2004.  Let’s see how easy it is to keep it off; that’s the real challenge.  Losing weight, not so easy; keeping it off; extremely hard! 

Page 40 – 45  The most outrageous celebrity wedding dresses.  There really isn’t a lot going on in the news, is there……