Tabloid Time! The Enquirer has a huge photo of Lisa Marie Presley on the cover and her $700 million pre-nup agreement to her new husband. HURRAY! Finally news other than Brangelina, Jennifer and Jessica Simpson. However, don’t be fooled; their stories are being told in Us Weekly. Us is entitled IT’S WAR, between Jessica and Nick, the latest photos of TomKat, and Brad and Angie’s New Photo Album. The Star has Hollywood’s current baby boom with celebrities that are about to give birth…nice. Oh, and this headline, Britney and K-Fed are in Therapy with Dr. Phil. I wonder if his primetime special featuring a loveless Paula Abdul was so successful, that now other celebrity couples will be asking the good ole’ boy to help them.

First, the Enquirer…

Page 6 gives you a tease of the Nick and Jessica nasty divorce proceedings. I’d save the read for Us Weekly. They have a more in-depth article.

Page 6 also has Richie Sambora allegedly begging Heather Locklear to take him back, but she’s not budging…good luck with that, Richie. Looks like Barbie’s giving Ken the kiss off for good!

Page 10 has several different photos of Tom and Katie out and about, with a caption that references that the rumor about the alleged split between them is entirely false. We shall see…no one’s has set a date yet; what’s up with that?!

You may recall last week, I reported that Farrah Fawcett blames Ryan O’Neal for their son’s drug problem. We’ll, this week on Page 19, they are reporting part 2 of the interview, in which Farrah reveals that she “risked” her life in a face-to-face confrontation with their son’s drug dealer. Oh brother. Who does she think she is? Jill Munroe?

Here it is, the cover story. Page 30 has the Lisa Marie and her music man, Michael Lockwood’s, secret wedding story. Supposedly, it was an exotic $250,000 celebration in Japan, with her mom, Priscilla, by her side. Lisa Marie wore a kimono over a robe and traditional Japanese sandals. And supposedly there is a $700 million pre-nup agreement between them, most of that coming from her annual revenue from Elvis and Graceland. Probably, a very smart move considering she’s been married three times before.

Us Weekly…

Page 41 has a photo of Chad Lowe and Hilary Swank walking arm in arm after they recently met for lunch in Malibu. Could this be reconciliation?

Page 44 has the Nick and Jessica cover story. Apparently, he’s found out she has or had an alleged boyfriend (front man Adam Levine of Maroon 5 – everyone is denying, of course) which is making him furious, so he’s now trying to get the lion share of their assets, and demanding a ridiculous amount of alimony. It doesn’t say how much, but I’ll do some sniffing and get back to you.

Page 48 – Brad and Angelina’s new life in Paris. Nice. And without even looking at the next page, let me guess…I bet it’s an article or photo of Jennifer Aniston, with or without Vince Vaughn. Perfect! I was right. After the 4-page spread on Brad and Angelina, sure enough Page 53 has a pensive looking Jennifer Aniston walking somewhere, with the story that she’s apparently hiding in Malibu at her home, until she can face life again.

Page 54 – yet another article on Tom and Katie with the same photo of them together on what looks to be a yacht or some other type of vessel.

On to the Star.

Page 12 has a pretty sassy photo of George Clooney and Teri Hatcher looking quite happy together. Are they, or aren’t they…just admit it already and move on!

Page 28 starts the parade of photos with some of Hollywood’s top leading ladies showing their pregnant pooch. Katie, Mariska, Angelina, and Gwynthe (and I’ll say it again, she’s in that awful period-piece dress she wore to the Golden Globes - yuck.)

Here we go…Page 50. Vince and Jen are at the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel, fighting over her inability to let Brad go…allegedly. Vince is telling her get over him, and she got so mad, she asked for the check and got up to leave in a huff, but noticed she was making such a spectacle, she calmed down and had them walk out arm in arm…allegedly.

Page 56 has more pregnant photos of celebs….Gwen Stefani, Rachel Weisz, old photos of Katie Holmes

That is all…again, another not so exciting week!