It’s Tabloid Time again! This week The Enquirer has TomKat secretly married off and Melanie Griffith’s (alleged) drug confession. The Star has the battle of the babies between Angelina, Britney and Katie (that’s funny, since they haven’t been born yet. Are they sending signals and battling each other from the womb?). And Us Weekly has Nick Lachey’s new girlfriend Kristin on the cover. Also, talk that Katie and Tom are having a boy! Let’s get to it.
The Enquirer…
Page 10 – Pictures of a tormented Melanie Griffith and her alleged drug problem with cocaine and other drugs. Supposedly, she’s attending 3 AA meetings a day, trying to kick the habit. Finally! A reason she appears so spacey in most all of her interviews.
Page 17 – has a slimmed down version of Ms. Jackson. You may recall she’s been trying to get the weight off in time for the release of her new CD later this year. Looks like she’s winning the bulge battle.
Meanwhile, on the same page, her wacko brother’s ranch is allegedly being stripped of its rides and animals, due to his cash flow problem, and not being able to pay his bills or his employee’s insurance. Come on! I cannot believe that with all his earned multi-million dollars over the years, he’s broke. Perhaps he should call Paul McCartney and see about a Beatles buy back deal.
Page 20 – the cover story of how Tom and Katie allegedly got married in secret, aboard a yacht in a Scientology ceremony; a 30 minute ceremony last July, with Kirstie Alley and John Travolta in attendance. Can these 2 get any weirder? I can only imagine the stories that are going to fly before, during and after baby Scientologist’s delivery.
Page 24 – “normal” people that spend thousands of dollars each year to look like their favorite celeb. Guess what…? They should have saved their money. They don’t even look close to their favorite celeb, i.e. Pam Anderson, Jennifer Aniston and Britney Spears! Ugh!
Page 40 – Carnie Wilson is joining the cast of Celebrity Fit Club 4 on VH1; allegedly. Who else will they get to humiliate themselves on that show this time?
The Star… Page 43 – The Britney cover story. How she’s feeling pregnant and trapped, and supposedly, how they are both miserable. Blah, Blah, Blah…she must love the drama with him, or she’d do something to be WITHOUT him.
Page 46 – Part 2 of their cover story. How Angelina is making secret post pregnancy surgery plans. A tattoo erasing; a boob job in case she starts to droop; and a possible tummy tuck. Are you kidding me! My God…get a grip!
Page 54 – Part 3 – Inside TomKat’s baby battle. She wants a hospital delivery; he wants a Scientology boat delivery. She wants the option of painkilling drugs; he wants drug free and absolute quiet. They both need a shrink to have their heads examined; she for marrying this guy and having a baby with him, and he for his whole Scientology way of life.
Page 52 – Rumors are flying that Demi could be with child at age 43. Stay tuned…
Page 62 – If you are spending money this week on the rags, it’s worth every penny for a look at this; horrible lip jobs of some of Hollywood’s best known lips. Melanie Griffith – her lip job looks ridiculous; she looks like a fish! Jessica Simpson and Lindsay Lohan both look like they’ve been bitten by a bee; all swollen and weird. Lara Flynn Boyle’s lips look like they weigh more than her entire body! Meg Ryan’s entire new facial structure looks awful! I too, watched her that day on Oprah; she could barely move her lips!
Us Weekly – Page 2. Get ready for Season 3 of BLOW OUT on Bravo. You know…Jonathan what’s his name, and his Beverly Hills salon drama; ridiculous! March 21st at 9 pm.
That’s about it for Us Weekly. They basically are reporting the same stories that The Enquirer and The Star are reporting.
I’d say go out and take a walk this week. The fresh air outside is better than the stale, hot air in the rags this week.
That is all..