Right now, I’m looking at the Enquirer, and on the front cover is a photo of Oprah, collapsed, with a bottle of soda or water on her head, and a caption that reads…Oprah Collapses! New Diet Threatens Her Life! Also, Brad Pitt’s Frist Love Tells all, and Farrah Fawcett has cancer.

Let’s see what’s going on…

Looks like Michael Jackson’s parents home may be in foreclosure soon. Please…all those kids and their money, and not one of them, or all of them together, can cough up the money to pay the mortgage? Give me a break!

A follow-up to last weeks story about Martha and her daughter, Alexis, feuding…apparently, the 2 of them are trying to make peace with each other for the sake of Martha’s mother, Martha Sr. Martha Jr. recently attended her daughter’s 41st birthday party at New York’s Artisanal Restaurant, and was cordial to Alexis, but neither was very warm to each other.

All that money really doesn’t buy happiness does it….

I hear wedding bells will be ringing for Ellen and her lover, Portia de Rossi next summer. The nuptials will apparently take place near Santa Barbara, CA where Ellen just recently bought a new home in Montecito, the weathly community next to Santa Barbara. In fact, I just read in the real estate section of the LA Times this morning, that Ellen, in fact, did buy a new home there.

Kirstie…that animal print dress isn’t flattering at all to your new figure. In fact, it’s leaving quite an imprint from “behind”. Page 9.

Apparently, Farrah Fawcett has been diagnosed with a malignant tumor in her lower intestine, and is scheduled for surgery to remove it, and then have rounds of chemotherapy treatments.

Oprah’s apparently becoming obsessed with her weight again, and has embarked on some crazy-ass 800 calorie a day diet to loose the weight very quickly. She recently was at a ribbon cutting ceremony in 100 degree Mississippi heat, and became dizzy, experienced blurred vision and then collapsed. Way to go Oprah…you know better than that. You’re the one who’s always pushing healthy eating practices on your show, or did the heat cause you to forget that?

That’s all from Hollywood this week!