It’s that time again; Tabloid Time! This week, The Enquirer has a demonic-looking Britney on the cover; is saying Brad’s having secret meetings with Jen; has Cher packing on 26 pounds - not 20 or 25, specifically 26 pounds; and Tom and Katie ganging up on Nicole about her husband’s drinking.

Let’s get started…

Victoria Principal and her husband have settled their divorce, and he’s walking away with $25 million, a source is reporting. Dr. Harry Glassman, the ex-Mr. Victoria Principal, got quite a nice settlement from her billion-dollar skincare line. He’s also keeping their swanky Beverly Hills estate. Not bad for 21 years of marriage.

It seems Justin Timberlake is on the rebound with sexy Scarlett Johansson. You’ll recall he and Cameron Diaz split just before Christmas ‘06.

Lindsay…you’d better stop drinking soon, or your liver’s going to turn into a stone. And I’m not the only one that thinks that. It seems her doctors are telling the hard-partying starlett the same thing. Lay off the booze or you won’t see 30 (allegedly).

I’m not convinced that the photo of this chick (page 17) is Cher. And again I say..how does anyone know it’s exactly 26 pounds she gained? Who knows that? Are they taking her to a public weigh-in? Apparently, she’s considering lipo if the weight doesn’t come off as fast as she’d like it to, when she starts preparing in a few months to get ready for her Caesars Place gig, which debuts in Vegas, Spring ‘08.

For $60 million dollars (the price she’s being paid for the Caesars gig), I’d take 26 pounds off too!

Tom and Nicole are supposedly at war over religion again; wait, let me clarify that…not religion, Scientology. Tom feels his kids, Connor and Isabella, need Scientology now more than ever, as Nicole’s husband Keith Urban battles drugs and alcohol. Tom feels it could also help Keith conquer his addictions, easier than rehab could (allegedly). Hmmmm..I wouldn’t want to be the one to tell Mr. Urban that.

Nice New Year’s Eve photo, Britney (page 34). The smeared black mascara and bright red lipstick, really compliment your glazed-over eyes rolling back in your head; it’s a photo that Jayden and Sean Preston can someday share at Show and Tell with pride. Right along with your I’m-not-wearing-any-panties photo…nice.

And with that, I say that’s all for this week from Hollywood kids!