It’s Tabloid Time again! The Enquirer has the person who caused Anna Nicole’s death (I bet that’s true); a Brad and Angelina bombshell: “You Cheated”…the secret that’s tearing them apart as Angelina adopts again; Britney finds love in rehab - great; and Rosie’s stroke drama.

Let’s see what the trash is this week….

Why does Heather Locklear always look so damn amazing (page 2)? Only she can pull off a white cowboy hat, brown yoga pants and tank (while waving to photogs) and not look like a total dork, after she has a mani/pedi at an LA Nail Salon. Richi who?

Lindsay Lohan has dyed her hair blonde. It actually doesn’t look bad; it tones down her “mean girl” look a bit….that jet black rehab hair made her look hard. Well, so did the vodka, but you know…..

Apparently, Vince Vaugn is miserable since Jennifer Aniston left him. He was spotted at Katsu-ya in Studio City, CA dining with a friend and complaining ever-so-loudly about how rotten his life is, how disappointing women are, and how crazy the movie business is. Another bottle of Saki please…..

Queen Latifah is apparently dissing Madonna and Angelina Jolie by planning to adopt an American baby. She’s says there are plenty of American babies that need help, so why not stay in her own country. You know…she’s right.

Another Stepford wife note…apparently, Mr. Cruise has informed all of the designer stores in Beverly Hills and on Robertson Blvd., that Mrs. Cruise is “too busy” to be shopping there anymore, and they are NOT to call and inform her when new and exciting things come in (apparently, she was on the VIP call list). Rumor has it he “disapproves” of her shopping and it’s sending out the wrong message; wrong message to whom? Has he finally lost his marbles???? Who tells their wife they can’t shop anymore, and worse yet, what wife agrees to that!!!

Great. Britney’s found love at an AA meeting. Trading one crutch for another I see.
Apparently, she’s “seriously” seeing 33 year old Jason Filyaw, lead guitarist of the rock band RIVA, and when he gets out of rehab, they are planning to move in together. I’ll say it again…she’s a mess.

Enough already with the photo of Rosie hanging upside down, saying she uses “inversion therapy” to combat depression (this is the stroke drama the Enquirer cover is shouting about?) yes, we get it…hanging upside down works for her, or does it. Maybe all that blood flow to her head, is the reason she seems angry and defensive all the time. What is she, a bat?

Gee, what a surprise. Howard K. Stern an enabler to Anna Nicole Smith. There’s no story here, kids, and her death will be clouded by a shroud of mystery, to continue the “legend” of Vickie Lynn Hogan, just like her idol, Marilyn Monroe, aka Norma Jeane Mortenson.

The story on Brad and Angelina is the usually, “she can’t trust him fully and is very jealous, and he isn’t sure if he wants to be tied down to a life full of trust accusations and all those kids”. Boring.

Another Tom and Katie note…looks like someone is going to get a full time chaperone on the set of her new “comeback” movie, “MAD MONEY’, in the form of her husband, Tom Cruise. He’s telling everyone he can’t live a moment without her, so he’s dropping all plans and moving the family to Shreveport, LA while she films the flick. Better watch out Katie, you won’t be able to spend any “Mad Money” there either, with your overseer around. Can you imagine being watched every moment of the day while you’re trying to work. Can anyone say JEALOUS!

And with that, I’m done for this week!