The Enquirer has Tom and Katie ready to split; Kirstie Alley has a weight loss secret (stomach surgery); and Drew Barrymore has an alleged gay lover.

Oh, and if you get a chance, check out the cover of People magazine; what the hell happened to Valerie Bertinelli…she’s gotten QUITE large. Looks like she and gal pal, Kirstie Alley, are going to be weight loss buddies ala Jenny Craig.

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20033618,00.html

Anyway, back to the Enquirer….

It appears John Travolta and Kelly Preston are in “therapy” to save their marriage. Pleeezzzzze. Give the shame up all ready.

K-Fed is set to receive around $13 million dollars from his settlement with pop-tart princess, Britney Spears. Pretty sweet deal for a 2 1/2 year marriage.

Oh, brother. Enough with the Halle Berry suicide attempt; now not once, but twice she’s tried suicide. Please. It’s nothing more than cheap publicity for her new movie, especially since the attempts were YEARS ago.

Hello…note to celebs. Even after you’ve lost poundage (Courtney Love’s lost 45 pounds), don’t forget cellulite isn’t pretty. A thin waistline doesn’t mean we care to look at a bikini-clad body full of ripples of cellulite.

Katie and Tom don’t look too happy with each other while they sit and watch Tom’s son, Connor, play basketball at Beverly Hills High School. Suri looks like she’s having more fun than they are.

Rumor also has it, that both of Tom and Nicole Kidman’s kids, Bella, 14, and Connor, 12 are deeply involved in Scientology; a religion that Nicole doesn’t embrace. She’s been spending less and less time with her kids, which gives Mr. Cruise more time to set the kids “on course” to “The Bridge of Total Freedom”; a Scientology term which means enlightenment. Great. It just gets better and better.

Please…Drew Barrymore’s alleged “secret gay life”. I don’t know if that’s much of a secret.

And that is all from Hollywood this week!